The connection in disconnecting and the struggles in-between
I felt a little nudge creeping up on me for a while in all honesty. My screen time notification seemed to be going up each week and up and my daily pickups number is WHAAAAAAT.**!!??
This was not connection. This was just ugly and I knew that I wasn’t feeling completely lit each time I scrolled. I was just numbing. Can you relate???
I knew I had to do something so I tried to just reduce the time I I was looking at my phone but this seemed to just make it worse. For goodness sake Elaine! I would say to myself it really can’t be that hard. The whole thing seemed so ridiculous and you might be thinking that too. But perhaps give it a try to not look at your phone for one hole day, even half a day. Without warning, just do it. See how you go. And if this is easy peasy for you. High freaking five! Because I STRUGGLED!
So I posted to my tribe and said adios for now, ciao, this is what I need, I’ll see you on the other side. VOILA!
There that wasn’t so hard was it Elaine? No, in fact it felt bloody fantastic!!!
I got to work on making this as easy for myself as possible. I couldn’t quite bring myself to delete my social media apps. Cringe! So I put them at the back of a folder I don’t usually use (I’m now questioning why I even have said folder!?) But that’s one for another day. Maybe something about cleaning out the crap to create more connection…?
The first day I genuinely kept looking at my phone. Kind of like a sad puppy. But from day two I started to forget about the fact I wasn’t up to date on what everyone else was up to…. It began to feel liberating! I felt light. I even felt any niggly self judgement that can crop up when I’m scrolling go. Ohhh it felt GOOD! There wasn’t this need (that isn’t a true need) to open Instagram to see the latest on so and so’s stories.
But what did I do with my life if I wasn’t posting on or checking what other people were up to you ask?
I went to town on enjoying myself! Doing all the things that make me feel super juicy and delicious. I danced. I read a whole book. I got out in nature. I even left my phone at home when we went out for walks! The truth is I reclaimed so much time!!! I am definitely going to be putting in some beautiful boundaries that make me feel epic around socials and my phone so that I can be more present. Win for time of socials!
I’ll be honest coming back to social media was like driving over a speed bump that you haven’t seen and you scrape the underneath of your car. Ouch. It felt SO un-pretty! The thing I had forgotten in my no news, no social media break was the world is changing on the daily. So after five days and one HUGE tradgedy on the news sparking uproar and so it should! I wasn’t prepared for what I was opening my little app too. When you decide the time is right to come back it can be overwhelming so reintegrating yourself is super important. Being gentle with yourself, super important. Reaching out to a friend you know who won’t judge you but will help you get up to speed with what the hell has happened since you’ve taken a break. Super, super important.
It won’t always be this way when you take a break, but a little note to be prepared that anything can happen and it might make you want to hide in a cave when you come back…. Whether it’s one day, a weekend, five days. Whatever you choose, I would say you won’t regret the benefits you’ll feel and see if your life. Get ready to reconnect by disconnecting.
Want to try your own detox from your phone? Or just socials? Here are some of my top tips:
Delete the app OR hide it so deep within a folder that you’re not completely sure how to get to it within 5 seconds. The harder it is to find the easier it is to not go digging. Your brain will just get bored or your higher self will kick in and say “Babe, this is meant to be your detox time, do you really want to keep searching for this app”? (God, if that doesn’t highlight an unhealthy need to scroll I don’t know what does) Ohhh even better get someone else to hide it. Note: This is NOT the option for you if you’re going to just pull down and search Instagram… My friend your app has gotta go. Download it again later.
Challenge yourself to reduce your screen time by 10% next week. You can even add a screen time limiter. I haven’t tired this but it sounds epic and I wonder what happens when you reach it…? I’ll have to give that a go and report back!
If you have notifications turned on for anything other than phone calls and text messages (sorry to sound like nan) how do you even function?? I mean if it doesn’t make you feel like you’re in a hole of ding this, ding that good for you. But for the purpose of your detox, bye bye notifications. Be gone!
Go out without your phone. This may sound like complete sacralidge!!! but when you go to the shops if you don’t technically need your phone do you… and I would argue you DON’T! Unless you seriously don’t have a card or cash to pay with. Don’t even take it. Walk away from the device!
Have boundaries for when you want to return to social media. Use the screen time function on your phone or just set really beautiful heartfelt boundaries that make you feel good!
And last but not least!! And this is my favourite part. Enjoy yourself! Revel in having dinner without checking your phone… oooh controversial. Get outside and play! Go for walks, look up at the moon, bathe in the sun, soak up the goodness that Mumma earth so freely gives us. Do something you’ve been putting off for ages. You know that creative thing or that course you’ve wanted to take that the majority of your friends are like, you’re doing what now? Take me, (I know this doesn’t cover the 5 day detox but it had a cross over) I just did a four week online out of body experience course learning all about astral projection, what the vibrational state is and how to have an out of body experience. Gah! I will have to write a whole blog post about it. It was so freaking cool and beyond!!! Pun intended! And lead me down a path of even further connection to body. Deslish. Do something, anything that lights you up and gets YOU going. I guess most all what I’m trying to say is remember that real life is not found in your phone.
So my conclusion on creating connection in disconnecting is that a regular self check in on how much we use our phones and a good old detox from socials is just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to cultivating deep soulful connection. Mmmh and it feels so damn good! I’m now in the process of taking down the number of times a day I refresh my emails and all the other crap that creates a black hole of time in my day.
Now, over to you my friend. Do you want to try and reduce your screen time? Go for a walk without your phone? Or go all out and try a socials detox?
Let me know in the comments below! I can’t wait to hear. XO